Suffering does not have to come from pain
Life is full of pain and misery? Here’s what you need to know!
Adversities and misery are an inevitable part of life, what is a big deal for someone might have very less or no effect on someone else’s life. what pulls someone into a sorrowful and depressive state might show minor to no change in someone’s emotional well-being.
Suffering is an unpreventable part of life, it comes in the form of fear of losing, failures, and sorrow. At least most (if not everyone) experience this form of suffering at least once in their lifetime.
when we think about pain and suffering, we think of the more or less related things. we can only avoid suffering by eliminating pain, right?
according to Buddhism, “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. since we all encounter and feel pain on different levels, one can say suffering is manageable and does not always have to result from pain.
Buddhism teaches us the philosophical aspects of pain and how one can work towards the end of unnecessary suffering.
#ACCEPTING REALITY FOR WHAT IT IS
As humans, we cannot deny change. sometimes, life provides us with wealth and gifts us love, other times, life takes away everything we have. if we think we can avoid the unpredictable and erratics movements of the universe, we do not have a clear view of reality.
therefore, Clarity is the first step out of the road of suffering. Seeing things for how they are rather than holding on to the illusions. our society today is obsessed with the preventness of hardships and easy-going life. but according to buddha- “whatever we do, we cannot escape everything falling apart”. this means, no matter how much we try to protect ourselves and run from things like aging, death, and loss, we still have to face the existence of these realities. we fool ourselves if we think we can avoid pain.
#THE WORLDY WINDS
There are eight worldly winds, stated as
- “pleasure, pain, gain, loss, praise, blame, fame, disrepute”.
Most people, spend their lives chasing pleasure, praise and fame. we accept what is desired and rebel against what is not. and as every blessing comes with a curse, in every pleasure, lies the roots of pain. as the pleasure goes away, we fear our incapability to redeem it. we get depended on the outside circumtansations for our happiness. with gain, always comes the likelihood of loss, every pleasure can turn into pain, and praise can turn into blame, and with fame, comes the danger of defamation.
Thus, the more attached we are to these desirable outside circumstances, the more vulnerable we become to their undesirable opposites. The thing is, we are not in control of these outside circumstances, whatever comes our way, comes our way. we may get stabbed by a robber in the street, we may get wounded in a car accident, and if we completely avoid these places, we may fall into sickness and lose what securities we have due to war or disasters.
The desire to avoid pain is a painful experience itself. as we try to minimize discomfort and changes, we still may fear encountering it.
#YOU HAVE A CHOICE
suppose you are walking on a road, and suddenly an arrow hits your legs. it hurts!
soon you see another arrow coming towards you, you are aware and have two options, you can either avoid it or let it hit you.
the same goes for adversity, the first arow represents unavoidable pain in our lives, we generally do not see this arrow coming towards us, but even if we do, it’s not in our complete power and cannot be avoided. the first arrow maybe when someone insults you, you lose your job or your partner cheats on you. we can influence these circumstances to some extent but we cannot altogether avoid them. the second arrow is different.
for example, let’s suppose you got fired from your job. you face financial problems, lose your bond with your colleagues, in other ways, you get hit by the first arrow. these are normal conflicts and changes most people experience. Now, you can pull this arrow out and accept the situation by moving on. but you can also lag behind, and allow the second arrow to hit you, you can overthink and suffer way beyond just losing your job. by rebelling against the worldly winds, by being depressed, angry, and beating yourself up, you only make the situation worse than it actually is.
and… as Alan Watts once said
I am worried and I ought not to worry, but because I cannot stop worrying, I’m worried because I worry”
Buddhism realizes suffering is an unavoidable part of life and offers solutions to how a man can prevent being a prisoner of his own mind.
#AWARENESS
did you notice there is space between the first and the second arrow? we have no power upon the first arrow, but we have a choice to avoid the second arrow. To realize this choice, Buddhism offers methods such as mindfulness and meditation. we can prevent mental destruction by choosing how to react to certain situations rather than unconsciously diving deep into our emotions and getting stuck in our own spirals.
#NOT CLINGING TO AN ILLUSION
We cannot avoid reality. we need to accept pleasant circumstances are not going to stay with us forever, This is why we use the term “worldly winds” as it represents ongoing changes, gain, loss, pain and, pleasure. nothing remains the same. Thus, holding on to pleasant circumstances is a bad idea.
“The world is inflicted by death and decay, But the wise do not grieve, having realized the nature of the world”
when good times are temporary, and bad times are unavoidable, why do we distress ourselves by clinging to the delusion, Why can’t we just accept what we enjoy at the moment soon will disappear?
no matter how much we try to hide and run, hardship and misfortune will catch us no matter what. instead of holding on to the worldly winds, wouldn’t it be better if we move on along with them skillfully?
